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Being of little concern in the midst of my panic, I roughly grabbed Michael by the shirtsleeve. My saucer-like tear-filled eyes and  quivering voice stopped him in his tracks. Though he did not understand my next words, he felt them…”I am TERRIFIED of going back down that mountain!”

I knew what kind of speeds were ahead of us, and I was prepared to walk down alone as an alternative to taking that terrifying ride on the bike.

1. He not only saw and heard my terror, he felt my emotion;
2. He held me and talked softly to calm me and to get my brain out of its fear center;
3. He cared more about my need for security than his desire to fly down the mountain at great speeds;
4. Once I was soothed and able to move back into reasonable thinking, he explained how we would safely descend the mountain, braking as much as I needed;
5. Once we remounted, he demonstrated just how slowly we could go…the speed would be up to me!

At the bottom of the mountain I confessed that without his care and attentiveness to my distress, that would have been my last ride. As you have likely read, we have since had many wonderfully successful adventures on the tandem!

So I suppose on that day anyway, successful marital relationship was about 5 magical steps and the love language of emotional connection!