Resources

Emotional Connection

The Story & Science of Preventing Conflict & Creating Lifetime Love
by Dr. Michael and Paula Regier

Emotional Connection combines the story of Ben and Claire with explanations of attachment and emotional connection. As you follow their relationship, consider your own questions: “How do I respond when I feel distant?” “What helps me listen?” “What kind of partner do I want to be?”

  1. Broken Promises: The Heartbreak of Betrayal. Anatomy of a Marriage, Anticipating Therapy
  2. Trauma: Defending with denial. Trauma, Attachment and the Cycle.
  3. Early Childhood: The Birth of Connection. Taking the Heat. The Science of First Bonds.
  4. New Love: The Feeling of Paradise. Uncovering Aloneness and Addiction. Attached or Addicted to New Love.
  5. Adult Attachment: The Spiral of Disconnection. From Withdrawal to Engagement. The Big Picture of Adult Attachment.
  6. Committed to Connection: Courage to Connect. Softening, Risking and Reaching. Rescued by Connection. Epilogue. Conclusion.

Authors Dr. Michael and Paula Regier are married and work together in the Center for Relational Excellence. They serve clients throughout California via teletherapy and in their office in Los Osos, California. Michael earned his Ph.D. from the California School of Professional Psychology and has over 35 years of experience as a clinical psychologist. He is a certified Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist and Emotionally Focused Individual Therapist. He’s a former faculty member at Kaweah Delta Health Care District in Visalia, California and at the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine in Baltimore, Maryland.

Paula has a background in business and accounting. Paula is the Center’s administrator as well as co-creator and administrator of Emotional Connection Relationship Foundations Online Education Course.

Michael and Paula are passionate about helping people understand themselves, communicate with greater care, and build emotional connection through attachment-based treatment and education.

I have yet to see a book explain the power of attachment in a way that draws the reader into the story of another. I couldn’t put it down. Few books take a reader into an experience where they can relate to and remember the information. This book accomplishes that.

~ Joshua Straub, Ph.D.Author, Safe House: How Emotional Safety is the Key to Raising Kids Who Live, Love, and Lead Well

This special and unique combination of fiction and science offers a much-needed message about love and bonding. Written for the general public but also very informative to all couple therapists, the poignant love story of Ben and Claire will illuminate romantic connection for all that are lucky enough to read Emotional Connection.

~ Paul A. Aikin, Ph.D.

The authors tell an emotional story within a scientific structure that reaches down deep into the lives of all too many of us. The story opens with a focus on the life of a young married couple that are sincerely in love but quickly find themselves in a troubled relationship having lost the emotional connection with the love of their life. The disconnect in the relationship resulted from subtle, gradual, and emotional distancing.

The book is a story from which every married couple can benefit. It tells a story of staying emotionally connected and preventing emotional distancing. It also tells a story of going through a love-crisis and coming out of it emotionally healthy, strong, and reconnected. Only then can a couple begin to live a life-long love affair together.

The book is long overdue. Many marriages have struggled without the professional and personal insights of the Regiers.​​

~ Allan G. Hedberg, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist

If you’re curious about what builds emotional safety in relationships this insightful book will let you peer behind the curtain and see how to improve your own marriage or help someone else’s. In their unique and captivating approach the authors invite you to be a fly on the wall of marital therapy sessions and what happens in the couple’s relationship between sessions. Rich with clinical and research insights this practical guide will show you how even a well-intentioned marriage can drift, get stuck, and then repair.

~ Ron L. Deal, LMFT, LPC, bestselling author of The Smart Stepfamily and President, SmartStepfamilies.com

Dr. Regier’s wealth of experience in using attachment theory to counsel couples, is presented in the most accessible and clear way. The book has a very engaging style in which we follow the story of a couple, we sit in on their counseling sessions and lastly we benefit from the analysis given by Dr. Regier. Our emotional connections with others do not have to be an illogical and unpredictable abyss to be avoided… they can be the source of much joy and a foundation for a much deeper and lasting relationship.

~ Andre Rabe, International speaker and founder of Mimesis Academy

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