July 1, 2012 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
Emotional attunement may be the most important foundation for helping couples overcome obstacles and work together to make great achievements. In couples therapy emotional attunement refers to what John Gottman makes reference to as: awareness, tolerance, non-defensive listening, understanding, and empathy. These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the […]
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Marriage Counseling – San Luis Obispo, CA
How Emotionally Focused Therapy Can Save and Transform Your Marriage
February 29, 2016 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
I will never forget the day I sat wide and teary-eyed in my Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) externship. I watched as Sue Johnson, co-founder of EFT, worked live with a couple, exposing us to the EFT process. It was like nothing I had ever seen before. None of my previous therapy training had prepared me […]
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Tandem Marriage: Being Your Best Self With The Person You Love
January 22, 2016 / by Paula / Relational Excellence Articles, Tandem Marriage
What is Tandem Marriage? Merriam Webster defines “tandem” as: a group of two people or things that work together; in partnership or in conjunction. If you have read through some of our previous Tandem Marriage blog posts, you’ll know that Michael and I ride a tandem racing bike, a bicycle-built-for-two. We have covered a bunch […]
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Attachment and Violent Anger – Part 1: How They Are Connected
January 18, 2016 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
How are Attachment and Violent Anger Connected? Understanding the connection between intimacy and anger is important for improving our own relationship, and if you are a therapist like me knowing how to help others. Some couples I work with are so stuck in a cycle of anger that the emotional communication work I normally do […]
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Pulling Your Own Weight: Is Your Marital Partnership Equitable?
December 8, 2014 / by Paula / Relational Excellence Articles, Tandem Marriage
It’s been two and a half years since saying goodbye to my healthy monthly paycheck and joining my husband in full time partnership. On occasion I still wonder if my accomplishments or contributions to our partnership are earning my keep. Am I doing my fair share in furthering our mission and vision? Though I have […]
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Tandem or Solo…Safe or Sorry?
October 21, 2014 / by Paula / Relational Excellence Articles, Tandem Marriage
For those of you who know us, you may have noticed some of the not-so-subtle differences in the way we roll. On the tandem I prefer the gentle rolling hills which nurture and calm my spirit; Michael goes after the big climb in anticipation of the exhilarating decent at 40+ mile-per-hour speeds. Both of our […]
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Productive Distractions
September 24, 2014 / by Paula / Relational Excellence Articles, Tandem Marriage
This past week has taken me off my originally mapped-out course of our book writing project. Running Michael’s busy psychotherapy practice is both rewarding and challenging. Phone calls throughout my day leave me distracted by the sounds of marital crisis. The depth of emotional pain in their pleas for help is sometimes overwhelming. The urgent […]
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The Fear of Attachment
August 8, 2012 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles, Tandem Marriage
There was a whole lot happening for me emotionally before we did that first ride!So wait! We need to back up. Seeing the tandem racing bike for the first time made my heart beat faster. Everything about it looked like a racer even if it was 10 years old. The custom hubs, the Ultegra gearing, […]
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Fulfllment and Attachment
July 6, 2012 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
What happens in any relationship when one discovers a repressed part of oneself and now has a new passion for life? Such was the case for me (Michael) when I discovered the challenge and excitement of cycling. It felt great to feel my physical strength again. The college linebacker in me could now be expressed […]
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Left Behind
July 5, 2012 / by Paula / Relational Excellence Articles, Tandem Marriage
As Michael enjoyed his early days of riding solo with the guys, I did my own thing on the home front, waiting for his brief recap at the end of his adventures. His exhaustion and non-detail driven right brain only allowed for summarized recaps. The details I required were often left untold which left me […]
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The Power of Emotional Attunement
July 1, 2012 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
Emotional attunement may be the most important foundation for helping couples overcome obstacles and work together to make great achievements. In couples therapy emotional attunement refers to what John Gottman makes reference to as: awareness, tolerance, non-defensive listening, understanding, and empathy. These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the […]
Read more