September 16, 2014 / by Paula / Relational Excellence Articles, Tandem Marriage
The seminars ended and the crowd went wild. Then the much too familiar words came: “WHERE IS THE BOOK?” Juggling his busy Couples Therapy practice during a period crammed with seminars, retreats and talks, made book writing time scarce for Michael. Our frustrations grew as the book requests of friends, colleagues and clients reverberated […]
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Marriage Counseling – San Luis Obispo, CA
How Fear of Codependency Can Backfire
February 9, 2016 / by Paula / Relational Excellence Articles, Tandem Marriage
Beth was days away from her storybook wedding. Her excitement about beginning life with the man of her dreams radiated through her giddy smile. All her friends were doing it. And finally it was her turn. What could be wrong with this picture? Only Beth knew of the knot she secretly harbored in her gut. […]
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Attachment and Violent Anger Part II: 4 Dangerous Ways to Express Our Anger
January 24, 2016 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
In Attachment and Violent Anger Part I, I talked about how attachment with caregivers in our early-years causes us to form either a positive trusting view of our selves and others or a view that is negative and mistrustful. Loss of attachment is critically dangerous to human beings. When people trapped in the World Trade […]
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Tandem Marriage: Being Your Best Self With The Person You Love
January 22, 2016 / by Paula / Relational Excellence Articles, Tandem Marriage
What is Tandem Marriage? Merriam Webster defines “tandem” as: a group of two people or things that work together; in partnership or in conjunction. If you have read through some of our previous Tandem Marriage blog posts, you’ll know that Michael and I ride a tandem racing bike, a bicycle-built-for-two. We have covered a bunch […]
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The Beauty of Being You
January 11, 2016 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
I woke in the middle of the night in awe of a Facebook video that I experienced: The Beauty of Being You. At three a.m. I had to drag myself out of bed to pen these thoughts and emotions. I was deeply touched by the beauty of what I experienced. I began to reflect on […]
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Love, Respect and Love Languages Did Not Save My Life!
December 16, 2014 / by Paula / Relational Excellence Articles, Tandem Marriage
Admittedly I am envious of the fame and fortune of popular Christian books suggesting a better marriage in 5, 7 or 10 steps. Love languages, respect and his and her needs are all pieces of making great marriage. But so much popular love advice today misses the love language of emotional connection. On a […]
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Pulling Your Own Weight: Is Your Marital Partnership Equitable?
December 8, 2014 / by Paula / Relational Excellence Articles, Tandem Marriage
It’s been two and a half years since saying goodbye to my healthy monthly paycheck and joining my husband in full time partnership. On occasion I still wonder if my accomplishments or contributions to our partnership are earning my keep. Am I doing my fair share in furthering our mission and vision? Though I have […]
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Are You a Pursuer or Withdrawer?
October 14, 2014 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
What happens when you get into an emotional conversation with your mate? Do you pursue the other person to try to get him or her to understand the depths of the pain you are feeling? Or do you find yourself being overwhelmed by your partner’s emotion and feel like the best thing to do is […]
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Emotional Attunement is Essential for Marriage and Personal Health
September 30, 2014 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
What is Emotional Attunement? Emotional attunement is being tuned in to the emotions of others. From the time we are born we need at least one trusted person to help us make sense of our internal and external world. Infants who bond with their mothers look to them for first-line help to navigate physical reality. […]
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Productive Distractions
September 24, 2014 / by Paula / Relational Excellence Articles, Tandem Marriage
This past week has taken me off my originally mapped-out course of our book writing project. Running Michael’s busy psychotherapy practice is both rewarding and challenging. Phone calls throughout my day leave me distracted by the sounds of marital crisis. The depth of emotional pain in their pleas for help is sometimes overwhelming. The urgent […]
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From Tandem Riding to Tandem Writing: The Book Cometh
September 16, 2014 / by Paula / Relational Excellence Articles, Tandem Marriage
The seminars ended and the crowd went wild. Then the much too familiar words came: “WHERE IS THE BOOK?” Juggling his busy Couples Therapy practice during a period crammed with seminars, retreats and talks, made book writing time scarce for Michael. Our frustrations grew as the book requests of friends, colleagues and clients reverberated […]
Read more